Friday, 20 June 2014

Free Yourself From Negative People

I came across this message/picture and was about to upload it to Instagram, but then stopped in my tracks, because as much as I agree with the sentiment, I feel that there is another very prevalent side to the coin...

The message speaks to me on so many levels because, fundamentally, it's true. However, when you are in a depressive state, or struggling to deal with life's day to day (or unexpected and sometimes, momentous) challenges - as many of us are - it really isn't so simple.

People are eager to say "You can choose to be happy" but depression isn't that cut and dried, it doesn't enable positive thoughts. It is debilitating and restrictive, harsh and consuming, it steals your joy, robs you of faith, of hope, and makes you sour, miserable and sometimes, bitter. Often, it fails to empower you to admit to yourself, or others, that you're not happy and not okay, because all around you, online, in life and on TV, people are coping and constantly displaying just how fabulous and fulfilled their lives are, how complete, loved and/or in love they are; effortlessly convincing your depressed consciousness, that nobody is interested in how sad or hopeless you are feeling, how scared you might feel or just how much despair is clouding your mind-state, your judgement or your sensibilities.

Depression is like a deluxe Dyson; it sucks optimism from your soul, steals faith from your rationale and drowns out the sound of reason from between your ears.

Relationships suffer in all aspects of life, but somehow you. must. keep. going. When asked, "how are you?", knowing that the question is rhetorical rather than the enquirers pressing need to hear just how hopeless you're feeling, you force a smile or a modicum of cheer into your voice and muster 'I'm fine' when the only fine thing, is the hair-line between continuing to function or collapsing into a hysterical, blubbering mess - less out of embarrassment but more, out of a need to spare the enquirers un-comfortability.

Ultimately, whilst negative people are a lot less attractive than their shiny, happy counterparts, sometimes, it's worth looking past the surface and asking questions you may not want to hear answers to, in order to help turn a negative into a positive.

It's okay not to be okay; and sometimes, that involves some negativity.